So Hard...

I just got off the phone with my mom; it was the first time talking to her since I found out. She explained to me that she had a feeling that the lump was going to be cancerous (just a gut instinct) and that is why she tried to prepare my sister and I of the news (before we found out, she told us that even if it was cancerous that it was really small and that the treatment would just involve radiation and that it would be okay).

She said, now her gut is telling her that the doctors removed it all and that it hasn't spread. She goes and gets this checked yearly and does self examinations monthly...So she is very positive, and that helps me a ton. Her gut was right the first time and I think it will be right this time too.

Now we just need to get her to the doctor to verify it hasn't spread...but right now they are full, but her doctor is doing everything he can to get her in asap. (probably mostly because of the lymphodema)

The one thing I didn't realize because I was in a panic was that though she has lymphodema and can't fight off infection well, the lymphodema is in her legs and no where else. So she can still fight infection normally from the waist up. So if it has spread, she can still fight off infection.

The other thing though that worries me, is that if it does spread and she needs radiation and chemo, is the possibility of getting lymphodema in her arm. Many times, breast cancer patients, after surgery develop lymphodema in their arm. It would be horrible, but it is much better than cancer.

Sorry this is so long, but it is the only way I can put all my thoughts and feelings out there. And for those of you who are going through this or have gone through this and have offered to help, I really appreciate it. I think I am somewhat still in denial about this whole thing, but I may take you up on your offers.

This is not the first time I have seen this happen to someone...my best friends mom battled breast cancer for a long time. She had a very severe case where it even spread to her bones. She went through radiation, chemo and more, and now she is cancer free and looks/feels amazing. I know it can be beat...and my mom's cancer as of now is nowhere near the stage my friends mom was in and hopefully never will be, but if we get to that point, I know that if anyone can beat it, my mom can. She is the strongest person I know...she has battled lymphodema her entire life and has never once complained or made excuses. I know she can do this if needed. It just sucks.